Mr. T Pities the Fool Who Tries to Cast Spells

Yep, you got it. We are doing yet ANOTHER deck that will make you the absolute least fun person to play with! Mr. T has been bouncing around with a few Brawl lists revolved around complete denial, and this deck is trying to make the most out of the most hateful color combination in Magic: Azorius!

We are a little late to the party on the whole Teferi-lockdown Brawl deck construction, but that doesn't mean we can't make a worse version of the deck by trying to maximize ways to make the experience shitty for our opponent. By denying, taxing, and benig a general pain to our opponents, we will either force them to concede or lock them down for cheesy mill victories, either on ourselves or our opponent.

You Can't Do That:

We want to lock our opponents out of all the fun, and Teferi, Time Raveler's passive text is probably the best way to do that in Magic. Combined with cards like Deafening Silence and Rule of Law, our opponents will only be casting one spell per turn cycle, and we can make sure that counts for nothing by using our full grip of counterspells on their singular spell. As bits of extra hate we have Lavinia, Azorius Renegade to stop any early Nissa, Who Shakes the World shenanigans and big haymakers like Fires of Invention; and Karn, the Great Creator to stop any of our opponent's artifacts from working and possibly animating our God-Pharaoh's Statue.

Do You Pay?:

To make the experience even more painful, we have ways to tax our opponents when they even try to cast their spells, slowing the game down to a glacial pace. Dovin, Hand of Control's activated ability is useful if the opponent has a large creature threat, but mostly it is his passive text that is here to make opponents suffer. Kasmina, Enigmatic Mentor provides our hate board with some protection, making it harder for big Mass Manipulation swings to happen. As extra bits of extremely hateful tax we have Smothering Tithe, which might ramp us but is mostly very annoying, and God-Pharaoh's Statue as both a heavy tax on all our opponent's spells but also is a win condition, albeit a slow-ass one.

Drawing It Up:

We need ways to make sure our prison is equipped with the most annoying cards possible, and for that we run the trio of Anticipate, Shimmer of Possibility, and Drawn from Dreams, all cards that have been quite useful in my blue singleton decks. As more card selection and powerful hate we have Narset, Parter of Veils to make our opponents feel extra bad whenever they forget about her text. Finally, Cavalier of Gales is just an excellent recurring body that lets us Brainstorm as an ETB.

Dealing With a Breakout:

Sometimes our opponent will find a way to slip through our cracks, either when our shields are down or when we haven't had time to set up the prison. For that, we have some cards to deal with pesky permanents that make their way onto the board. Brazen Borrower is fantastic with counterspells and our denial cards, as well as being a possible beater if we manage to lock our opponent out. Deputy of Detention shines when dealing with tokens, but can be a way to lock down a problematic permanent for some time. Prison Realm is a good way to deal with a big threat, and can also be recurred with our commander if necessary. We also run Cavalier of Dawn as he can just get rid of any important nonland permanent, and on death can bring back prison elements to our hand if our opponents destroyed them. We run Dream Eater because it is such a fantastic card, and can be quite oppressive if we bounce the only permanent they were able to play on their turn. For board wipes we have Time Wipe and Real-Cloaked Giant, which even synergize with each other if you have the time for it, but mostly due to the value they give us in letting us reuse some of our stuff. We could be running Planar Cleansing but that would defeat the purpose of our prison.

I win, you lose:

Okay so we need a way to win if our opponent is rude enough to not concede. For that we have some of the cheesiest and most annoying win conditions. Folio of Fancies works really well with all our tax and denial, as our opponent will be forced to keep their cards in hand. Jace, Wielder of Mysteries is for a cheesy win condition if we ever do end up going that late. Agent of Treachery is one of the rudest-feeling cards in Standard, so of course it goes in the deck, with extra points for being reusable with Teferi's -3 ability. Finally, we have the meanest of cards, Emergency Powers, which can let us reset all libraries and put a huge permanent in play, but mostly is here for how it combos with Narset, Parter of Veils, denying their card draw, or Smothering Tithe, giving us a treasure token for every card they draw. This is the splashiest way to hurt our opponent, so we absolutely had to give it a shot.

Mana Issues:

 My oh my, that's a lot of expensive spells there. We try to make do with one Arcane Signet, one Azorius Locket, and one Midnight Clock in case we don't draw up the mana we need, but if Smothering Tithe gets to resolve it can help a lot with the mana issues. For lands we run the classic mana-sinks in Blast Zone, Castle Vantress and Castle Ardenvale, as we won't be able to cast many spells in one turn, having a way to get value from our mana van really help. We also run a Mystic Sanctuary to recur some of our more valuable counterspells like Devious Cover-Up to keep on hurting our opponents as much as possible.

This deck almost cost me my marriage, do NOT play it against a loved one.