Vintage - Thassa the Insufferable

6 1
1 5 0 55

Edt: With the recent ban on Thassa's Oracle, this deck has become illegal, but I'm still keeping it up for reasons like remembering that this kind of funk is indeed possible. Note that you can't play any deck with the card Thassa's Oracle in MTGA.

Hey mate, just started playing MTGA? Problem getting the cards rolling, but still want to win with whatever you can grasp? No worries, mate, just grab yourself 5 rares, 3 uncommon and a whole load of commons and play the stupidest deck ever:

The main idea

You mulligan until you reach Treasure Huntimage and hopefully another perm card or a Mystic Sanctuaryimage, and get rolling. This deck has 2 win conditions:

  • Thassa's Oracleimage which at best only lets you win when you got only 2 cards left in your deck.
  • Overwhelming the opponent with weenie 2/2 zombies once you cast Zombie Infestationimage

You can go for both approaches and use the zombies as a shield to stall some time until win condition 1.

How it's built

For both, you'll be needing a lot of Treasure Huntimages, just to be sure you draw one at the start. However, there is also need to cycle them back in, as each time you hit another perm, it slows you down. That's why Mystic Sanctuaryimage is in there: You grab them back and keep on playing next turn.

In this version, Folio of Fanciesimage got scrapped since Lonely Sandbarimage and Reliquary Towerimage did a better job together at keeping your hand and grabbing the top card from your deck: cheaper and doesn't slow down your progression through your deck by hitting a nonland card. 

You still need black mana though and that's why Drowned Catacombimage is so good: You will build up Islands anyway since you need them for Mystic Sanctuaryimage. That will mean that they come into the game untapped, ready to be used and give 2 different kinds of mana, if need be.

I added a Lurrus of the Dream-Denimage because it doesn't slow down deck progression in the companion board and automatically fits in with the costs. In case someone blocks your Thassa's Oracleimage and you got the mana, you got some recourse. Also in case you're stranded, you can just use it to defend and maybe stall some time. More options for free, I guess.

What your starting hand should look like

Let's be honest: A hand with 2 nonlands and one of them a Treasure Hunt sounds nice, but unlikely. Other than that, 1 Island and 1 Reliquary Tower plus the usual Treasure Hunt is good too, since you get to keep your full cards and overwhelm the opponent with cheap zombies later on. You can also make sure you got at least 1 Mystic Sanctuary in case where you are left stranded.

Decks you shouldn't be facing

Since you have a low amount of cards, anything that counters too much (blue decks, mainly). They will either wait until you are close to having no cards to counter Thassa's Oracleimage, or leave you stranded in your deck by countering Treasure Huntimage. You could pull through by waiting for them to use up all their mana and stall with Mystic Sanctuaryimage. If you manage to put down Zombie Infestationimage, you might even win.

Handhate like Thoughtseizeimage can also destroy your deck by leaving you stranded.

Graveyard hate can disrupt Mystic Santuary's card retrieval, which will end up getting you stranded as soon as you hit either the oracle or Zombie Infestation, unless you have a card in hand.

Platinum Angelimage completely disrupts the deck and has no way of removal. Neither reducing life to 0 nor the win condition of Thassa's Oracleimage will make you win. You can directly forfeit and win back some time.

Anything with too much aggro that will kill you before you get rolling.

Decks you can try:

Decks with many creature removal options that will be too confused about the lack of targets.

Anything that is slow rolling and can't break through a barrier of little weenies (through lack of trample or flying).

Ways to adapt the deck

Since the main idea behind the deck pretty much leaves no room for creative freedom, there isn't much to write about this. There are only 3 ways how you could probably kinda improve this deck:

  • You can try to up the speed by removing some Treasure Hunts, meaning you won't be stuck too often and will draw more lands. You will still need to wait until turn 4 to return and draw them back and you will have to do this 2 times due to Zombie Infestation and it will also mean you will get dealt bad hands more often at the start. 3 is usually fine though.
  • You can try adding more lands if you are going for a win with Zombie Infestation, guaranteeing more creatures. This will however influence your initial draw as well.
  • You could replace some Islands with Zagoth Triomeimage: it counts as an Island, therefore not stopping your 3 Islands progression for Mystic Sanctuaryimage and you get some black mana needed for casting Zombie Infestationimage. At the same time you get a cycling ability, which is pricey with 3 mana, but can help you get out of being stranded or save your topdeck draw from being milled. The only downside is it comes into play tapped, forcing you to play it on a turn with even amounts of lands to not lose speed (since every card costs 2 mana) and that it is another rare, hence costly.

Final verdict

Well, to be fair, this is quite janky, yet works a lot of time as a deck. If you're starting out with MTGA, it can be a nice and cheap way to mess with most opponents and even up to platinum, this deck has always managed to keep a good win ratio. I hope it will help you folks to get your feet wet in MTGA, so you can pull through the card acquisition part and make the decks you really want to play.

Anyway, that's all from me, until then, stay fresh, stay cool and see you next time!


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Last Updated: 20 Oct 2021
Created: 14 Feb 2021
255 304 0

Mainboard - 61 cards (9 distinct)

Creature (1)
Instant, Sorcery, Enchantment, Artifact (5)
Land (55)

Sideboard - 1 cards (1 distinct)


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